Do a brief introduction to active listening. Explain that often, when we reflect and discuss, we tend to focus on multiple individuals and questions at once, moving around our attention and focus. Meanwhile, when we listen to others, we tend to do so in a discussion-oriented way, thinking about “what will I say next”, rather than listening to the other with full presence and attention. One powerful way to explore a question or a problem is to use active listening with focus on one person at a time. For this exercise, this is what we will do.

Optionally, make a list together with the group of “What makes good active listening?” Invite people to spontaneously offer answers and write them on a flipchart.

Using a flipchart, Introduce the three roles that individuals will take on during the exercise.

The subject:
The subject’s role is to explore the question or problem from his/her personal perspective. The person in this role should keep in mind: allow the focus to be on you, and let your reflection flow naturally, being guided by the active listener.

The active listener:
The active listener’s role is to listen will full presence and focus. To listen with the whole body, to be curious, observe, paraphrase what he/she hears and guide the subject with open questions. This person should keep in mind: ask open questions to support the subject’s reflection; do not offer advice; listen with the whole body.

The observer:
The observer’s role is to observe the process without speaking. To make observations from an outside perspective, to see and hear things that the listener and subject may note. This person should keep in mind: stay silent throughout the process; observe and make notes about what you see and hear; after the subject finishes, share the observations with the others.

Set up the question or problem. The question or problem is what each subject will explore and reflect upon. It could be a common question for the whole group (e.g. “What are the biggest barriers to change in my work and how can I work to overcome them?”) or each subject can set his or her own question or problem (e.g. Choose a challenge in the workplace that you are struggling with currently.) Ensure that all participants understand what they should explore and reflect upon.

Have participants organize into groups of three. Make it clear that each participant should have each role for a set amount of time. Give groups one hour or more so that each round can last 20 minutes. Explain that groups should pay attention to the time and make sure that there are three equal rounds.

Once participants have finished, debrief the exercise, using questions like:

– What happened for me during the exercise?
– How did it feel to be the observer?
– How did it feel to be the subject?
– How did it feel to be the active listener?
– What did I learn about myself?
– How can I apply insights from this exercise?